[♔] -"Give me Mjölnir, and I am yours to command.”
Inverse!AU: Thor is a berserkr imprisoned for off-realm massacres and Loki is the beloved crown prince of Asgard. Faced with a powerful enemy and imminent destruction of the Nine, Loki has no choice but to trust his vicious adopted brother with Asgard’s most powerful weapon… and his life.
what i look for in a man:
- sharply dressed
- loves his job
- runs the british government
- is mycroft holmes
And suddenly, the fangirl was left alone in her darkened bedroom at midnight, viciously stifling sobs as she finishes a fanfic.
Book borrowing is the biggest form of true love it’s like, “Here’s a piece of my soul that I think you would enjoy.”
*slow clap for the harry potter fandom*
We really are the most awkward of nationalities
My life in a series of tweets.
on the next episode of I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS BRITISH
The acurateness of this is unbelievable
Can’t afford the trip down to Florida to swim with the dolphins? Swim with these dolphin-esque bananas instead.
try n close those containers
You cannot close the containers because then the dolphins couldn’t breathe, idiot
(Source: Laughing Squid)
do you think whoever was designing the default netflix avatar made a mistake somewhere but just sat there laughing at the result for so long that the whole design team decided to keep it
one time, my sister accidentally sent a picture of her new dog to the wrong number and the recipient was real upset about it
earlier this week, my sister realized that it had been an entire year. she had a new dog and thought he might want to see
then her friend sent him a picture of her cat since he seems to really love animals
i just sent him a picture of my neighbor’s dog, sergeant
now we wait
im literally going to go and collapse in bed i’m so tired and tomorrow is going to kill me
"mr. president why is ur hand on the launch nukes button"
“it’s a metaphor”
welp, i know how i’m spending my sunday
I LAUGHED OUT LOUD
But it’s so fucking ridiculous. The etiquette rules are: The person who arrives at the door first holds it open for the person who arrived second. A younger or more able-bodied person always holds the door for someone who is elderly or disabled. Someone with free hands should hold the door for someone whose hands are full carrying things. If you’re alone, you should always glance behind you and make sure there’s no one there so you don’t let a door slam in someone’s face out of obliviousness. You should always nod and smile at someone holding a door for you, and vice versa.
Gender has JACK SHIT to do with the real etiquette.